Amazing. Just amazing.
It's crazy how a messed up person like me can be used as God's tool to spread his love. This past four days really blessed me in ways unimaginable.
Four days ago, I never thought I would cry for those kids. Four hours ago, I was on the top of the stairs of the church laughing, crying, loving the moment, and hating the moment at the same time. Crazy huh?
Four days ago, I saw a bunch of kids who put up barriers and were stone cold. Four hours ago, I saw a bunch of kids who were crying with us, who were full of energy and life, and who were full of love.
My heart hurts because of these kids. The simple action of asking to hold my hand, hugging me randomly, or even tackling me to pet my hair pulls on my heartstrings. I've never had anybody ask to be loved. And when these kids threw those longing hearts onto me, I couldn't help but to get so attached to them. And when those connections and precious moments are suddenly stopped by the end of the E-camp, my heart hurts.
I'm so thankful for God giving me the eyes to see the transformation of the kids' hearts. The kids from day 1 were not the kids from day 4. They changed because of us, and we changed because of them.
I can't even put all my thoughts and emotions into words because they are so raw. God provides and he uses us, his tools, to spread his love. You only have to be willing and you will also be blessed.
I love these kids and I always will.
-Phil
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